Happy Ending in 2012

Thanksgiving came and went. Christmas has now come and left. Now, the new year is upon us...

I can't speak for anyone other than me, but I am feeling a wonderful ending to 2012! " :-)

I started a journey this year with a set goal by the end of the year. I didn't reach that goal, but I tried, and that's more than I can say for years past. My goal was to be down 30 pounds by the end of the year. I started this course at 265 pounds. Today I weigh 245.4. That's 19.6 pounds I have lost and 10.4 pounds away from my goal. I'm okay with that. Athletes don't win every game they play. They just practice harder, and get ready for the next game, the next goal. That's how I am going to start my new year - working harder, paying more attention to things I let slide this year. That's my goal for 2013.

Now, onto some good news (that completely gets the Happy Dance for 2012!!)....

I always NEED jeans at Christmas time so I tell everyone to get me Lane Bryant gift cards. I did good this year, and got $135 in LB gift cards! (Yay for me!)

So Brian, Mum & I decided to get out of the house and go shopping yesterday. We all got ready, headed out the door, and ventured off to the mall. The lady who greeted us was so helpful with finding the right jeans for me. The ones I have bought for the past several years are being discontinued, so I had no idea how these other jeans would be. She asked me what size I wore, and I told her the jeans I had on (the ones I had been buying for the past several years) was a size 22. She started venturing here and there grabbing different jeans for me to try on so we could see which of the new styles was best for me. I got in the fitting room with about four pair of jeans to try. I put the first pair (bootcut jeans) on and was a little disappointed with them. They gaped open really bad in the back. (For me, that usually happens.) Brian and Mum wanted to see how they fit (as did Becky, the girl assisting us), so I opened the door to show them. We all four made the same "No" face at the same time! The jeans not only gaped open bad in the back, they were just too BIG everywhere! (*Little happy dance*) So, Becky suggests I try a size 20, and she ventures off to find them as I go back to try on a different style of jeans - the jeggings. Same scenario, and I need a smaller size in those, also. Next I tried the straight leg jeans. Again, same thing. Becky comes back with the size 20 in the straight leg, and I try them on. They don't gape open as much in the back, but they are STILL too big! (*another little happy dance*) So, she suggest we try going down to an 18 just to see how they fit. If they are too tight, we'll stick with the 20. As she disappears to find them, I tried on the size 20 jeggings. They fit great. (Not much of a happy dance here, it's still a 20.) Becky brings back the size 18 straight leg jeans. I give myself a little pep talk as I'm changing, "If they are too tight, it's okay, you'll get there when you are suppose to be there."

Oh...

My....

Gosh....

Seriously??

THEY FIT PERFECTLY!!! (*HUGE happy dance in the dressing room before I even open the door to show anyone!!*)

I open the door to model & Brian and Mum are both just smiling. They both said the jeans looked great. :-) Yay me! So, of course, I got 3 pair of jeans with my gift cards! :-)

After we left LB, I texted my mom to tell her my good news. While we were texting, she reminded me of something I hadn't ever really thought about: I was a size 18 in high school! So, here I am ten years later, finally able to wear that same size again!! :-)

I'd call that a great ending for 2012!! Here's to wishing you all a happy ending for your 2012, and to great things to come in 2013!

Awe, December, I love you (kinda)...

Thanksgiving was absolutely amazing this year! We kept it simple (sort of, too much food) with just 6 of us total, had wonderful food, and played Yahtzee until 2 in the morning!! Definitely fun & full of laughs!

Food made me gain 3 pounds in one day, and put me back over 250 (251.4 to be exact)! Yikes!! But, it was worth it! You have to enjoy the holidays with all the yummy foods! Otherwise, it would just be another dinner with family...

As of this morning, I am down to 246.6, which makes my total lost so far 18.4 pounds (and 4.8 gone since the morning after Thanksgiving). Not exactly where I wanted to be at this time of the year (and with my goal of another 15 gone by the end of December), but every pound gone is still a step in the right direction!

I'm thinking about getting up and walking in the mornings before I have to get ready for work. I don't go in until 9, so if I get up about 6, that would give me a good hour to hour & half  to get some walking in. It is December, and it's pretty darn cold in the mornings here with the sun peaking over the Sandia Mountains pushing all the cold air right down on us! (It is colder between 6-8 AM than it is about 3-4 AM!!) Ugh, it's only gonna get colder!! I have jackets, scarves, gloves, ear warmers...I can do this! :-) (Too bad I don't know anyone out here that would go with me, though.)

December means Christmas. Christmas is probably my favorite holiday, partly because of all the gorgeous decorations & lights, but mostly because of the reason we celebrate! My faith has been with me for many years and has brought me through more hard times than I ever thought possible. We should celebrate Christ and all He has done for us & bless us with every day, not just one day a year! Thank you, Lord, for my life & every piece of my life's puzzle!

November 04, 2012

Wow... Almost a year since my last post.

Surprised?

I'm not really. I honestly can't count the number of times I have started a journal and said "This time, I will keep up with it!" I will write in it a couple of times, then find it months (or years) later full of blank pages. It's never been that I'll find it later on and regret the stuff I have written in it, or someone else will read what I've written. That's one of the reasons I decided to start a blog online: so others can/will read it and will, hopefully, be inspired if they are in similar situations.

However, I lack self-discipline like no other! I get so frustrated with myself because I start something (journals, blogging, dieting, working out, etc.) with good intentions, but the first time something distracts or discourages me, I'm done. I don't know why it is so easy for me to give up. Maybe, somewhere inside me is still not ready for whatever I'm trying to do. Maybe, somewhere inside it just feels like it doesn't matter. My heart tells me it matters, but my head doesn't always feel that way. Who knows....

Now, on to the good stuff!

I know some of my readers are Facebook family, but I'm sure there are some who are not. That being said, I feel the need to put it in here so everyone can read!

I am down 18 pounds from 265 to 247 now! (I have to admit, it's been about a month now that I finally got under 250. Since I hadn't put it here, I thought I had better!) I cried when I got on the scale that morning and saw it! My goals for the LONGEST time has been to get under 250. The simple fact that it's a month later and I am STILL under 250, is one of the greatest feelings! Knowing I have gone a month without gaining it back is definitely encouraging!

So many people are in the same battle I'm in with my weight. Some people have been focused & determined, while some have been distracted & discouraged. Either way, we can ALL do this! We can win this! We all need encouragement, though.

My encouragement comes from multiple places & people. I can't take complete credit for what I've been able to do so far. I have been blessed with family, friends, and people I've met online. All have been wonderful in supporting and encouraging me. I definitely couldn't have made it to the point I'm at now without all of them!

So, my word of advice for all of you who are reading this, and feeling alone, or discouraged, or whatever, just know you aren't the only one in this battle! If you are surrounded by people who doubt you, you will start to doubt yourself. Get away from those people! Show them that you CAN & WILL do it without them!

Talk to those around you, find the people who willing support & encourage you, and find your own strength to push forward!

Sorry I got long-winded on this one! Just felt the need to get it all out there! :-) 

Yikes!!

So, after all this time, I have good news and not-so-good news. Not-so-good news first: I have not met my goals for Christmas. :-( But, the good news is I am still under my initial weight and have not gained it all back. So, for that, I am very happy. But, I have to make myself get back on track and do what I am suppose to be doing, and stop all this snacking that I have been doing. I don't mind the snacking as long as it is on the good-for-me stuff. But lately, it's been on all the NOT-good-for-me junk!!! Not having a job isn't helping me because I eat when I'm stressed, and not working is the biggest stress on me ever! So, I need to find a job, ASAP, so that it will take stress off and I will stop snacking all day!! (Sitting at home alone with all this junk food, and no one watching, makes it soo easy to just go grab some cookies, or ice cream, or chips & dip...)

I thought it has been a while since I updated everyone on my progress (partly because I am a little disappointed in myself for not having the self-control and the self-discipline I should have to stay on course). Thanks to everyone for all the support and I promise to do better on my updating, whether good or bad news!!

September 17th

Hello, loves!!! It has been a few weeks since my last post, and a lot has happened in those weeks!! :-/

But, I do have some good news to share with you all today...

I have lost EIGHT pounds!!!! :-) I bought a scale last night and got it all set up, then when I got up this morning, I weighed myself. I am down to 257.8!!! Not as good as I would have liked it to be, but right now it is much better than where I started so I will take it without complaint!! :-) 8 more pounds and I will be under 250 and I think when I get there I will cry!!! Just seeing it this morning made me happy, and gave me an extra little push of motivation (which I really needed!!).

I just wanted to let everyone know I'm still trying (not as much as I should be, but baby steps) and I wanted to share my good news! :-) This is how I see it: I am not eight pounds lighter, I am eight pounds HEALTHIER!

Also, thank you got your continued support and the kind words you have sent my way!! Please keep me in your prayers this next couple of weeks as I lose my job and try to stay focused on being healthier while I am without work. I plan to use my free time to go to the gym and work out more, and take Bandit to the dog park and run with him for awhile....I will keep you updated on my progress!!

August 24, 2011

So, it's been a few days since I made my vow, and I have to be honest- it feels good this time! Things haven't changed much, but I have to do this is baby steps. You have to learn to walk before you can run! I have, however, made some changes in my daily routines. Dinner time consists of ONE small plate of whatever we are having, no seconds! Also, I've been "running" the stairs with Bandit when we go outside for his walks/potty breaks. But, the things we are eating, still haven't really changed. Reason being, we are trying to eat the things we already have in the kitchen to make room for the healthier foods and such. Poor Brian is probably going to starve!! :-( He is soo picky, but I ask him every week if he wants to go with me to the store to pick out some things he will eat, and he says no. So, he is just gonna have to learn to like more fresh produce. 

I saw a story on Yahoo! earlier this evening about a family who did a 100 Day Challenge of Real Foods, so I decided to look more into it. I don't think I jump off into that much right now (one because of money and two because that's a completely different lifestyle), but I read some of the things on the website, and I think I can do it in moderation. It said not to buy anything with more than 5 ingredients on the label. I can see how that goes for starters. Plus, I have the Whole Foods Market right up the street from me, so I'm sure I can find a lot of healthy foods there. I love fresh veggies and fruits, so eating more of those will not only be good for me, they are also something I enjoy! Oh, and I took a salad to work for lunch on Tuesday and let me just say, for as plain as it was (lettuce, tomoto, cucumber, & ham), it was soooo good!! I know one of the ladies at work told me she was proud of me for bringing a salad like she does! lol (She's a diabetic, so she brings a salad for lunch every day so she can enjoy more at dinner with her family.)

Speaking of work, there are a group of ladies that go walking on their breaks at work. They have invited me several times to go walk with them, and I always tell them I will when I can remember to bring my shoes (I see them every morning sitting there when I get dressed, I chose not to take them! big no no!!!!). So, I guess it is time for me to put the right foot forward and start going walking with them. Every little bit of movement helps, right? And the more calories I can burn while I'm at work, the better it will be in the long run because I won't have to push myself so hard after work when I work out. And if I don't push myself so much at night, maybe I won't get burnt out on it as fast as I have in the past. Everything in moderation, from food to working out....

I can and I WILL do this!! :-)

August 21, 2011

So, today is the day I really let the world into my life. I have decided since I don't have many friends out here and I need to be held more accountable for my actions, the best way for that to happen is to make it public. As my journey begins today with this blog, I hope that someone out there will read it and help give me the extra push I need when things get rough, and that my blog will also give you the push you need. So, here we go!

I have reached a point in my addiction to food to admit that there is a problem. I have a an addiction to food, and that's the worse kind of addiction out there. Because you can live without alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, dipping tobacco, etc., but you cannot live without food. I can't blame my problem on anyone other than me. I am the one who chooses to pick something up and eat it. I am the one who knows I need to stop, but continues anyway. I am the one who knows that what I'm eating isn't healthy. I am the one cooking the food and adding all the extra bad stuff to it. So, I know that it is my own fault. I also know that I am as obese as I am today because of my lack of self-discipline. I have said for a month now that I am gonna go down to the gym and workout, but have I done it yet? No, because I can find 15 excuses not to go. "I don't want to workout alone; I won't have anyone to talk to; What if something happens while I'm there alone, etc." All it is, is one excuse after the last. When it comes down to it though, no one was there when I grabbed the ice cream out of the freezer to eat. No one was there when I stopped on my way home for something to eat, instead of just waiting for dinner when Brian gets home. No one was there when I got up in the middle of the night for cookies. So, why do I have to have someone there when I'm working out? I'm not doing it for anyone but me, so why am I not enough? Because I have lost my self-respect and I'm not proud of me anymore. I have this constant feeling of not being good enough, and not doing enough to make myself or anyone else proud. But, the time has come to change all that!

Here's where I let it all out for everyone to know....

I was at my heaviest in April  of 2009 at a whopping 276 pounds. I made a vow to myself then that I would lose weight and I would never weigh more than that. So, far, I've only kept half of that vow. I have not weighed more than that since then, and I plan on making good on the other half of my vow now. The last time I weighed myself (about 6 weeks ago) I was at 264 pounds. I am pre-diabetic and have high blood pressure, and I have been told that I won't be able to have kids. I know this weight didn't just show up over a few weeks, or months. I have always been overweight. Heck, I was overweight when I was born, weighing in at 9 lbs. 5.5 ozs!!! It has been 26 years of weight accumulating, so I don't expect it be easy for it come off. I know I have a LONG, hard road ahead of me, but I am a strong woman and I will, WILL!, do this for me!! I need to be able to look at myself in the mirror each night before bed and say, "I'm proud of all you did today!", instead of, "You shouldn't have ate that much for dinner and you really should have walked Bandit around the apartments longer or went to workout today."

So, these are my goals:

1.) Lose 20 pounds by Christmas (that's roughly 4 months away, so 5 pounds per month)

2.) Lose 50 pounds (total) by next summer (30 pounds in 6 month, still about 5 pounds per month)

3.) Increase my stamina for working out in general (it's almost non-exist as I type this)

4.) Be able to walk around the Academy (3.3 miles) in about 45 minutes (I'm at about 1 hr 20 minutes now)

5.) Be able to say my blood pressure is where it should be, and the diabetes isn't lurking right around the next cookie

So, please, if you have some encouraging words, please feel free to pass them my way! Or, if I have encouraged you, please let me know!! And, thank you to everyone who has been there through everything this far, and for all those who will be there to see me reach my goals!!!